followyourdreams2designsbysandeheird

Today A friend and I were discussing the subject of "self-image" and "self-esteem"...what influences it, where does it comes from etc. etc. I could not help remembering a story my mother, Troy Walker Little, told me about something that happened to her just before she started to school.

She had talked about school for months to anyone who would listen and was so excited to be going to school. When she was only five years old, she played school, studied her alphabet, and learned to write her name. She was to start first grade in September of 1918. In July her mother, Katie Walker, noticed that she was not her usual playful self. For several days she was sluggish, had no appetite, and had started running a slight fever. When Katie could not get her fever down by using her "tried and true" home remedies, she ask her husband, Bruce, to go for the Doctor. They lived in the country between Sevier and Knox counties where there was one old country Doctor to service the needs of miles of folks. After observing and caring for her for two days, he called Katie and Bruce out of her room..."Folks, it is not good news. She has Scarlet Fever." Katie gasped and Bruce hit the door facing with his fist. He was a hot-headed Scottsman.
Day after day they stood watch, taking turns bathing her body with cool water from the spring out back but still she showed no improvement. Finally, the Doctor called them aside and gave them news they never imagined they would hear about their precious and precocious little girl. The Doctor said, "I don't expect her to make it through the night."
Bruce went over to her bed, knelt beside it and stroked her little wet head, " Hey little Darlin' is there anything you want? Anything, anything at all because I'll get it for you."
To his surprise she opened her sad, tired eyes and in a weak, soft voice she answered, "Ice cream, please." Store bought ice cream was a rare treat back in the late 1900's especially to country folk.
"Ice cream! Well, alright then." Bruce jumped up, grabbed his hat and started for the door.
"You can't give dairy to someone with a fever," the Doctor scolded. It's crazy. She'll just throw it up."
Bruce shook his finger in the Doctor's face. "If my baby is gonna leave this world tonight and she wants ice cream, then ice cream she's gonna get and THAT IS THAT!"
The Doctor shook his head as Bruce scurried out the door.
"Don't worry Doc, as hot as "hit" is out there "hit'll" melt before he gets back with it." Katie always had a calmness about her and was usually the voice of reason in the Walker house.
About forty minutes later the old screen door squeaked letting them know that Bruce was back. He was holding a package wrapped in layers and layers of news paper. He took from it the carton of ice cream and started feeding it to little Troy. She ate and ate and then fell asleep. The three adults took a chair beside her bed to stand watch and probably to say goodbye... but one by one they fell asleep.
When the first light of day came streaking through the window, a voice said, "Papa! Papa I'm thirsty." The three adults sprang to their feet. Katie shouted, " Thank the good Lord!"
"That ice cream must have broke her fever," the Doctor exclaimed.
Bruce ran out onto the front porch where several family members and neighbors had been holding a prayer vigil all night. "She's alive", he threw up his hands and said, " And, she's thirsty. Somebody go down to the spring and bring my little girl a cold drink of water."
By the end of the month the Scarlet Fever had taken it's tole and Troy lost all her hair.
"It'll grow back before school, won't it Momma?" Katie knew that it would not but kept smiling and hoping for a miracle. However, the week before the first day of school she realized that she would have to provide the miracle if there was to be one.
While Troy was trying to go to sleep before the "big day" she kept hearing a clicking sound from the living room. She was such a curious child, she just had to slip out of bed and peep through the door into the living room to see what was making the noise. She saw her mother working away with her knitting needles. "What 'ya doin', Momma?"
"You are suppose to be asleep. Now scoot little girl."
When Troy woke the next morning, she sat up in bed and rubbed her big brown eyes. She noticed that there was something hanging on her bed post. On closer inspection, she realized that it was a little knit cap just her size. Katie had worked way into the night to make it for her. All she had on hand was green yarn so Troy got a green cap...like it or not.
On her way to school several of the other children started laughing at her cap and asking why she was wearing a knit cap in the heat of summer. One of the boys yelled, "You look like a toad frog." All the children laughed. She just ignored them and walked on.
After she had taken her seat in the classroom (which was right up front), the teacher explained that if anyone had to go to the outhouse they were to write their name (if they could) on the black board, excuse themselves and then erase it when they returned. It was almost like an invitation because one after the other the students filed up, wrote their names and went to the outhouse. Finally, Troy had to answer the call of nature so she proudly wrote her name, "T r o y" and went outside. When she returned she noticed that almost all of the class was giggling quietly and looking at her. She checked her skirt, then straightened her little green cap and turned toward the board to erase her name. There on the board someone (probably one of the boys who was teasing her on the way to school) had placed a bar in the middle of the "T" changing it to an "F" and had enclosed the "y" making it a "g". "Frog". She felt tears well up in her eyes but wipped her eyes, erased the board and sat down.
On the way home all the children, with the exception of her best friend, Mike, taunted her calling her"Frog Walker". They teased, laughed and pointed. One even ask her if she ate flies.
The next three days were just the same. More teasing and everytime she went out someone changed her name on the board.
She was overcome with shame and sadness and ran all the way home from school.
"I'm not goin' back. Never, ever!"she told Katie.
When she explained to Katie what had happend for the last three days, Katie took her tiny face in her hands and said, "Now listen to me, child, don't you let anybody tell you who you are. You are Troy Walker, one of the smartest and sweetiest little girls around. Don't you let them or anybody else make you feel bad about you, you hear me? You jest hold up your head high and go right on."
Katie wipped Troy's tears.
The next morning it was the same old thing. She tried to ignore them. She tossed her green capped head high in the air and walked as fast as she could to escape them. She tried with all her might to hold her water but after a while she had to go to the outhouse. She walked up, wrote her name on the board and could hear the giggles already. She lowered her head and started to walk away. And then, she heard her mother's voice as clear as if she was standing right there,"Don't you let anyone tell you who you are. You are Troy Walker. Hold your head high." Suddenly, she had a wicked, wonderful thought. She walked back to the board, made a bar in the middle of the T and enclosed the y. "Frog", she wrote. She giggled and left. When she returned nobody even noticed. She had robbed them of their joyful, evil tricks. She had won!!

I told my friend that I wish I had more of the spirit of "Frog Walker" in me. Don't we all?